Are you athletic? No? Doesn't matter it's college.
Step one, you need an awesome name so people will know who you are because let's face you are a big deal. Names can be chosen based on many different attributes. However, the more bad ass the name the better athlete you will be, this does have limits however. the name must at all times be reasonable, a totally fake name will leave you in the basement of the NEAC for life.
Step two, your hands need to be lethal weapons, every good athlete has his two best weapons at the end of his arms. One of the best but definitely hardest way to do this is to go to an MMA summer camp, and then swear you are the toughest kid at school. Do not however forget that with great power comes great responsibility, you must register these finely tuned weapons with your local sheriff and also with the TSA.
Step three, find a super ugly girl that no one else wants and swear she is the best looking girl on campus. When other kids see you with this dime piece they will know that when it comes to the athletic field, you go hard. I mean lets face it, you were a standout 3 sport athlete in high school who got all the girls, in college you can't be such a playa you need to focus on school as well.
Step four, now don't get confused, it isn't about winning. When it comes right down to it, it is more important that people think you are a superb athlete than winning games. The other squad might beat you but they don't have your sweet name, deadly hands, or righteous dime piece. So then the question really becomes are they better athletes? To which all hardcore athletes know the answer: obviously not.
Step five, this is the most important step. You must at all cost follow the 48 hour rule, however, to be the absolute best you need to remain sober and abstinent for the duration of your season. Look at the players on your high level squad. They don't drink or fornicate at all during season, and further more the kids who do get lucky in the games, however we have already established games don't mean anything you are a college athlete.
Step one, you need an awesome name so people will know who you are because let's face you are a big deal. Names can be chosen based on many different attributes. However, the more bad ass the name the better athlete you will be, this does have limits however. the name must at all times be reasonable, a totally fake name will leave you in the basement of the NEAC for life.
Step two, your hands need to be lethal weapons, every good athlete has his two best weapons at the end of his arms. One of the best but definitely hardest way to do this is to go to an MMA summer camp, and then swear you are the toughest kid at school. Do not however forget that with great power comes great responsibility, you must register these finely tuned weapons with your local sheriff and also with the TSA.
Step three, find a super ugly girl that no one else wants and swear she is the best looking girl on campus. When other kids see you with this dime piece they will know that when it comes to the athletic field, you go hard. I mean lets face it, you were a standout 3 sport athlete in high school who got all the girls, in college you can't be such a playa you need to focus on school as well.
Step four, now don't get confused, it isn't about winning. When it comes right down to it, it is more important that people think you are a superb athlete than winning games. The other squad might beat you but they don't have your sweet name, deadly hands, or righteous dime piece. So then the question really becomes are they better athletes? To which all hardcore athletes know the answer: obviously not.
Step five, this is the most important step. You must at all cost follow the 48 hour rule, however, to be the absolute best you need to remain sober and abstinent for the duration of your season. Look at the players on your high level squad. They don't drink or fornicate at all during season, and further more the kids who do get lucky in the games, however we have already established games don't mean anything you are a college athlete.
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