There are a select few of us that just simply know that we are in fact better than everyone else. We have brought together our knowledge to form a list of signs so you can tell, and chances are you are, better than everyone else.
Sign One: When you take a shit and literally the bathroom does not stink, this is a key sign that you are better than everyone else. This cannot be confused with only a mild odor. A mild odor does not mean that you are better than anyone, it means you are the same as any other schmuck that walks the earth. there needs to be absolutely zero smell.
Sign Two: When you walk around in a sport coat and slacks when everyone else is wearing everyday clothes, ie. shorts and t-shirts, this is a sure sign that you are better than all of those people. Isn't it obvious that the more important people, even in the most laid back settings, always dress to impress. A key example is when you strut around in a pea coat when everyone else is rocking a hoodie, you are definitely better than all of those pee ons. I mean really come on everyone even a dull Monday morning is an opportunity to prove your superiority.
Sign Three: Now this is where it starts to get tricky. If your parents have a decent amount of money and you feel that because of this you could be an outcast from your peers you pretend to be poor, but really are part of an affluent family, well this makes you better than absolutely everyone. This is a hard concept to grasp, but I'll try to explain it. Now, when you are with your rich friends, naturally you are better than them because lets face you play the rich card and when it comes down to it the BMW mom and dad bought you is way better than the five year old Audi all of your friends got handed down to them by their parents, This just blatantly shows how much better you are. Where the pretending to be poor half comes in, is when you are hanging out with our group of friends who are purely middle class. Here, when you pretend to be poor everyone will sympathize for you at how hard your life must be, little do they know life is just the opposite, because of they struggle you have and triumph over on a daily basis. This sympathy they have will actually make them realize how much better than them you are because you rise above your (fake) situation.
Sign Four: You go out to eat with either a group of friends or coworkers, and you feel that throwing in an extra couple of dollars for the tip is beneath you, because lets face it, it is. Everyone else is throwing in a dollar that is going to a server, and that server really deserves a tip on top of their pay? Good thing you remembered that there is no way anyone deserves to make even close to your pay, after all you are better than everyone present in the restaurant.
Sign Five: Now we all know just anyone can get into and graduate from a public high school. But you, you went to a private college, you had to fight for every single grade, you had to work twice as hard as any public school scum bag. Now just going to private school isn't what made you better, I mean lets face you were born better and private school just fined tuned all your superior attributes.
Sign Six: Have you ever won an award in school, now I'm not just talking about high school or college. When it comes to awards we can go all the back to elementary school and bring up the trophy you won in second grade for learning your math facts firsts. Since we go all the way back to elementary school this means all middle school awards count also, now that coaches award you won in eighth grade football, that is a key factor to you being better than everyone, That award is something not everyone can achieve.
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