How to pick up chicks.

Now, unless you are old school royalty and have an arranged marriage you are at one point going to need to know how to pick up a member of the opposite sex. Now because it is mostly men trying to pick up chicks and not the other way around we are going to help guys with how to pick up some sweet dime pieces. Just because we post these does not mean that they are field tested or that we approve, or condone any of them.
Step one: Now, chicks no matter what they say are very superficial when it comes to guys, at least some of the time. So this means it is all about looking your best, and the only thing better than one popped collar is multiple popped collars. Now one might think this could be over kill, but layered collars scream class and the ladies love it.
Step two: A sweet haircut is a must, and who doesn't like lax bro flow? Self respecting young women thats who. To get tricks you need a short tight haircut with a super nice edge up. Lets be real with ourselves, edge ups drive the ladies wild. Now you need to pair this righteous hair with the thinnest chin strap you can get, because girls love tough guys and tough guys rock chin straps.
Step three: Now, there needs to be a sweet conversation if you have any shot. The topic? The topic needs to be about how awesome you are at sports. Include in this how you have always been a starter in every game you ever played, and you tell the coach when you come out not the other way around. This needs not be a conversation so much as you bragging about how awesome you are at every and any sport, and how you could beat any dude in the place at anything.
Step four: You need to look like a better catch than any of the cool cats you are with. Therefor, you need to talk mad crap about all of your friends so that you look better than everyone else, and nothing is off limits. You need to bring up every embarrassing story and moment you know about everyone so that you look like a total boss.
Step five: When all else fails, Chloroform and roofies.